Copy Credit Meals-The Movie

Date: 2012-07-23, 11:08PM PDT

Looking for all core key crew for a satirical comedy about the state of sad affairs in the independent film world where exploitation and law breaking is commonplace by day, and sexual gratification is traded for Red Epic camera packages and lights at night. It's a harsh look at the world of lower budget production where anybody who puts up a HD camera on a tripod is given the respect of Academy Award Winning working professionals. In exchange for donating all of your time, experience, your gasoline to get round trip to/from the set, in exchange you shall be entitled to 2 ounces of old tap water and a half Costco cookie per 3 hours and will be expected to bring your own lunch to have the privledge to work a 17 hour day with us, for an improperly spelled imdb credit.

And as far as the copy goes, in this digital age, we will charge you to download the film off of an internet server if you wish to retain a copy for your records. This will absolutely be going to Sundance and I'm even confident it has the opportunity to be nominated for the Best Short Film at the Oscars. Women with large breasts and shaved pussies encouraged to apply. No fatties or hairy ones please. You will have to show it if you expect to be hired. No Hollywood queers either, especially in the wardrobe and art departments.

People who like to submit resumes unsoliciated like sound mixer Ted Phillips are encouraged to apply because it doesn't matter if you're looking for a production coordinator or a make up artist, he just assumes you've not hired your production sound mixer. Alex Noble in hair and make up will follow suit, because he just cannot seem to get enough work that month because everybody know's he's a bully.

Show us your best Hollywood and do not disappoint this production because "Copy, Credit, Meals: The Movie" is here to fuck you over, and that we will. It's even being produced by the hack producing team of Mark Headley and Jeremiah Vaughn, who have ripped off most of us already, so what more can you ask for?

Proceed quickly to your keyboard and send in your digits because this is one you're just wanting to get out of bed to work on, and even defer your rent and grocery bills for. But wait, you also get the free set of steak knives, with blades properly dulled for the most pain, when you slit your wrists after working with my director, who's really a camera assistant but thinks he can direct just because he wrote the script. No stone will be left overturned. Don't for get to bring your drugs and have lots of sex with the extras during your 10 minute lunch period. I know you grips and electricans will just love that one.

Yes, there is worker's compensation coverage, but its through the CA State Fund which just declared bankruptcy, so if you get hurt, go to your closest emergency center waiting room and die quietly.

Stand proud Hollywood and line up for "Copy, Credit, & Meals: The Movie" because truth is always stranger than fiction.

Location: los angeles

Compensation: Copy, Credit and Meals, of course